Countless posts affirm what we all know — the job interview process is stressful. It’s a roller coaster of emotions: excitement, fear, hope, nervousness…

Often you’re on multiple roller coasters at the same time, interviewing with more than one company. And of course, life may be throwing a lot of other things at you too. It’s a lot to handle, but you can handle it with some perspective and a few tips.

So, I’m going to let you listen in on a real conversation I had in Slack with a designer interviewing for an exciting role…

Note: I’ve tightened up the original transcript and removed personal information. Sophia is not her real name, but she did give me permission to publish this.

 If you’re skimming, look for boxes like this, which summarize the tactics.

March 27th — Nerves & Transparency

Sophia

9:11 AM: Hi Alex! I just got the email that I’m moving forward to the next round for a job I’m very excited about! It sounds like this will be a culture fit interview with some design questions sprinkled throughout. It’ll be a video call.

Do you have any suggestions for nerves during an interview?

This is a product I’m very passionate about and have used for some time so I feel my nerves will be higher than most interviews!

Alex

10:05 AM: Hi Sophia, that’s great to hear, congrats!

I think it’s okay to be open about that with the team. I love to hear that someone is excited about the opportunity and I understand that nerves come along for the ride.

Plus, their reaction can give you a good idea of their culture. Do they understand? Are they supportive in helping to ease your nerves a bit or are they dismissive?

That says a lot.

10:09 AM: Depending how nerves impact you, you can give them a heads-up. For example, some people start talking very quickly when nervous, so they might say “Thanks for meeting with me. I’m really excited about this opportunity and the team, and to be honest, that may cause me to start talking quickly, so please let me know if I should slow down.”

 Handling interview nerves: be transparent and tell the interviewers that you’re nervous. For example, if nerves cause you to speed up, you might say “ I’m really excited about this opportunity and the team, and to be honest, that may cause me to start talking quickly, so please let me know if I should slow down.”

10:11 AM: The other thing, which it seems like you’re already doing is to think about the questions you’ll be asked and practice your answers ahead of time.

I’m a huge fan of practicing your answers out loud. I rehearse my answers, not to memorize them, but to think of key things I want to highlight, capture a good turn of phrase that I can use and catch anything that may sound odd.

Also, it just helps me feel prepared.

 Preparing for questions: practice answers to likely questions out loud, ideally with a partner, but even solo practice is super helpful.

Sophia

12:22 PM: Thank you! Yes, I was thinking about letting them know at the beginning in some way!

They want to interview me first thing next week so it’s very quick turn around. I’ll definitely be prepping this weekend.

I’m currently working on answering questions on the spot. I always feel there are a couple questions that throw me off, then after the fact, I come up with a much better answer. Haha.

Any recommendations for answering questions like that?

Alex

1:01 PM: Hah, yeah, that happens to all of us!

Give yourself permission to say “That’s a good question, let me think about that for a second…”

It’s easy to feel pressured to immediately answer, but showing you’re comfortable pausing to think and provide a good answer is powerful.

 When you don’t have a ready answer: Give yourself permission to say “That’s a good question, let me think about that for a second…” and then think through the response. Sometimes “I don’t have a good answer to that” is the best response.

April 5th — Interviews with the Execs

Sophia

11:20 AM: Hey Alex!! I just wanted to update you that the interview process is super lengthy, but I’m still chugging along.

I’ve got one more video call with the CPO and COO.

I’m super excited. Thank you so much for your help and confidence last week!

11:22 AM: Do you have any recommendations about talking to Execs? The email mentioned a casual call for 45 minutes. Not sure how to focus my interview prep for this round.

Alex

2:48 PM: That’s great, congrats and thanks for keeping me updated Sophia!

2:50 PM: The big thing for meeting with execs is demonstrating that you know and care about the business.

Referencing specific improvements you’ve made/driven with bottom-line results is important. For example:

• X% increase of signups
• Y% reduction of churn
• an increase of user sat of Z%

Ask about their business goals, what impact they would expect you to make and how your success would be measured too.

 Talking to execs: Demonstrate that you know and care about the business by referencing specific improvements that moved a product or business forward with clear, measured results.

Sophia

4:10 PM: Thank you! Just two more hoops left… Big ones! haha.

I prepped some questions for them about their business and visions/goals.

4:12 PM: I’ll definitely focus on my answers being more metrics driven… although, I don’t have a lot of data I can share for my projects. It’s mostly qualitative feedback from releases.

Alex

4:25 PM: Awesome. The fact that you’re talking to them at all shows that they’re invested in you.

April 9th

Sophia

12:02 PM: Hiya Alex, I had a great call yesterday with the execs. They had a few questions that surprised me. I knew how to answer, but I just couldn’t get my thoughts formulated well enough until after the call. Hindsight is always 20/20! haha.

I found out I am 1 of 3 out of 306 applicants so I think I should be proud to finally reach this point.

Hopefully, my passion for the role takes me through even if I stumbled a bit.

12:02 PM: Thanks for the support throughout the process!

Alex

12:28 PM: That’s great news Sophia! All of your preparation looks to be paying off.

I’ve definitely stumbled in an interview only to come up with a perfect response later. Most of the time interviewers don’t even notice, so I bet you’re in a good spot!

April 12th — The “Casual” Interview

Sophia

9:35 AM: Heya! I made it to the final round.

I am flying out to meet with one of the Design Managers on Friday and it’s meant to be a super casual lunch and chat with a colleague type of scenario. Crossing my fingers it goes well!

9:38 AM: Do you have any thoughts on such a “casual” interview?

These folks know me pretty well at this point and I know a lot of this will likely be culture fit and my thoughts on the current state of design etc.

Alex

10:23 AM:  That’s excellent news, congrats Sophia!

My only advice is be yourself. As you said, you’ve been talking with them a lot, so this is a good opportunity to validate that you’ll like working with them and to gain a deeper understanding of their culture.

10:26 AM: One of my favorite questions for these situations is “If you had a magic wand to fix anything at the company or your team, what would you change?”

It may sound silly, but it provides a ton of insight..

 Navigating the “casual” interview: Be yourself. Seriously, you want to be sure this is a match. To get an insightful view into the team and company ask the question “If you had a magic wand to fix anything at the company or your team, what would you change?”

Sophia

5:35 PM: That’s a great question!! Thank you. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Alex

9:38 PM: Sure thing! I bet they’ll be excited to talk with you in person and it will be a fun and informative time.

April 18th — Negotiating the Job Offer

Sophia

9:14 AM: Heya Alex!! I got the job! I am so excited!!

Alex

9:20 AM: Excellent!! Congrats!

Sophia

9:21 AM: Thank you!

9:22 AM: I did have an offer question for you. It’s a little different of a situation than I’ve experienced before.

9:24 AM: These folks are very honest, kind and upfront. They’d given a range at the beginning of the interview process.

When the COO gave me the offer, he took his time to explain they do hiring very differently, want to avoid the back and forth, give a fair etc. He also mentioned the offer may be lower than I’m used to, but the benefits of the company are the people you work with, the remote aspect, etc.

The offer was lower than I expected and at the mid-point of the range they gave me initially (he said this was rare, but given my skills they thought it was appropriate). He said he hopes the offer is respectful to me, etc.

Is there a polite way to counter and not put them off?

I’d just like to see if they can move even a few K up and not make it seem like I am negotiating or ignoring his initial spiel he gave me. I knew it would be a step down monetarily, but I hoped a little less than it is.

Alex

9:27 AM: Hi Sophia, it’s definitely fair for you to negotiate. It’s great that they gave you a range up front, which helps to understand where they’re comfortable.

It sounds like you feel that you are above that midpoint..? If so, it’s fair for you to explain that even their high-end is a step down, but you’re excited about joining them, so you’re willing to find a middle ground.

9:28 AM: That said…

They’re very excited about you at this point. They’ve invested a lot and they clearly feel like you’re the right candidate, so you have room to maneuver.

9:31 AM: When I’m excited about a company and we’re close, I like to use language along the lines of:

“This is really exciting, thank you for the offer! This doesn’t quite match up with what I’m looking for, but if you can get the salary to $X, I’d be happy to accept the offer today.”

That last part is key, it gives them confidence that they’ll get what they want (you) without a lot more back and forth.

 Negotiating when an offer is lower than you expect: It’s okay to push back, so long as you’re honest and polite. At this point, they’re excited to have you join the team, so you have room to negotiate. Use a clear statement to communicate what you’re looking for. For example: “This is really exciting, thank you for the offer! This doesn’t quite match up with what I’m looking for, but if you can get the salary to $X, I’d be happy to accept the offer today.”

Sophia

9:32 AM: Yeah, I would say hitting the high end of their range would put me at a really good place. I just didn’t know if it would upset them because he is being very transparent.

9:32 AM: Would you say it’s best to do this over the phone or via email?

I asked to have a call with him later today. I just felt maybe my tone would help in communication

Alex

9:33 AM: Phone is definitely better. I wouldn’t expect them to be upset about it. If they are, that would be a red flag .

Negotiating salary is part of hiring and the COO’s job is to negotiate

Sophia

9:34 AM: Yes, agreed. I guess I’m a bit blinded at this point because I’m so excited. This is a dream job for me

Alex

9:34 AM: Yeah, just remember that they’re as excited as you are!

Sophia

9:35 AM: Thank you for the reminder!

Alex

9:35 AM: It can be hard to remember that when we’re the candidate

9:37 AM: As the company is very big on transparency, working that into your reply may help…I’d say something like

“Thank you for being so transparent throughout the process. That’s hugely important to me. In that same spirit, I’m excited about the offer, but it’s not quite where I need it to be. If you can get the salary to $X, I’d be happy to sign today.”

Sophia

9:40 AM: Perfect! Thank you

Alex

9:42 AM: Happy to help! I bet the call will go well

April 19th

Sophia

6:33 PM: Just signed today! They were able to negotiate a bit which was really nice.

I am over the moon! Thank you again for all your help and support.

Alex

6:42 PM: That is tremendous news Sophia, congrats! All of your hard work paid off.

There’s a lot to take away from this, and every situation is different, just remember that the interviewers are hoping that you are the next great member of their team.

You got this.

When you’re trying to land your first job or looking to make a big leap, it’s helpful to talk to someone who can provide guidance and answer your questions. That sort of relationship can accelerate your efforts, but only if you proceed thoughtfully.

Whether you’re looking for a formal mentoring relationship or just hoping for a quick call or coffee with someone already in the industry, treat the process as you would any major project. Take the time to prepare, and set a specific goal for what you’d like to learn and achieve.

The most effective people come prepared with answers to common questions along with the questions they wish to ask. Here is how I approach it when mentoring someone or when looking for a mentor myself.

A quick aside: A lot of us love the opportunity to help others grow, and will jump at the chance if we have the time and energy. So don’t be afraid to reach out to someone you think might be able to help you.

What are you looking to gain from our conversation?

Are you looking to build a personal network, or are there specific questions you hope I can answer? Both are perfectly valid, and it isn’t necessarily binary, but it’s good to be clear about what you’re after early on. For example, I’m not generally interested in networking (meeting people just to connect; I can find this draining). I am interested in meeting people I can learn from and whom I may be able to benefit in turn.

These goals are both good, but the purpose and results are very different. In my experience, the best long term network is built on early conversations that are genuine and candid. (No different from any other valuable relationships in our lives.)

Looking to learn?

Here are some questions people have asked me that prompted great conversations:

• Do I need to specialize as a designer or should I be a generalist?
• I’m worried about joining a startup as the only designer for my first job; should I join a bigger company instead?
• Do I really need to network to find a job?
• I eventually want to do _____. What steps should I follow to get there?

What I’ll often ask

I don’t have a script for these conversations, but there are some foundational topics that always come up. Inevitably, I’ll want to learn:

• How you think I can help. Seriously, why me? Is my career path similar to what you’re interested in? Do you feel I can shed light on areas that you aren’t familiar with in the hiring process? Maybe you feel that I can connect you with someone who can help you move forward. All are 100% valid and worth talking through.
• If you’re looking for a new role, I want to know what you’re looking for and why. Now, you may not know exactly what role to go for. That’s okay, we can dig into that, but it does require that you have some general thoughts in mind. For example, if you’re a designer, are you interested in landing your first design job, or are you perhaps trying to understand a different, related role that might be more interesting?
• Your goals, both long term and short term. If you’re just starting out, you may be focused on finding your first job, which is a different conversation from someone who wants to talk through whether they want to become a manager or switch to a different field.
• Why you’ve chosen the field you’re in. It’s possible that we’ll discover you aren’t as excited about it as you thought you would be. In those cases, we may switch gears to talk through a different, and hopefully better, career path.

How would you like to talk?

This may sound odd, but the clearer you are regarding how you’d like to meet, the easier it will be to get things set up. Some key things to think about:

• Meeting in person has huge benefits for communication and building a connection, but scheduling can be hard. It may also be uncomfortable for some people to meet a total stranger. Be open to a phone or video call initially. I’ve even had some great conversations in Slack.
• Decide how much time you think you’ll need. A good target is 30–45 minutes, not counting travel time. If you have a good conversation, you can always extend or set up another time to meet.
• Make it convenient if you’re meeting in person. As the mentor is investing their time to help you, do your best to make it as easy as possible for them. Ask which times would work best and the area of town they would prefer.
• Think about the location. Provide a couple of options that are public, like a library or coffee shop, and avoid bars. You may eventually be comfortable to meet over a beer, but now isn’t the time to add alcohol to the dynamic.
• Be flexible. Calendars can get overbooked and on occasion, a high-priority conflict will come up at the last minute, so you may have to reschedule.

What to avoid

• Hopefully, this is clear by now, but do not come unprepared, expecting the other person to have a list of things to teach you.
• Don’t be slow to reply. If you get a response from someone willing to help you, jump on the opportunity quickly.
• On the other side, be flexible on their response times. Don’t badger them if you don’t receive an immediate response. If you don’t hear back within a week, send a polite follow-up.
• Don’t view this as a transaction. Even if someone isn’t able to give you their time now, set a foundation for the future, when they may have more flexibility.
• Do not view this as a dating opportunity. Seriously. I’ve had friends and colleagues (all women) who were put in an awkward situation where men requesting mentorship thought it was more than that.

Updates are good

Mentors love to hear how things are progressing. Personally, it surprises me when people I’ve met don’t follow up to ask additional questions or let me know how things are going. If you’ve met with someone who is interested in helping you with your career, they’ve chosen to invest in you, so take advantage of the opportunity to cement the relationship.

Mentorship is symbiotic

The design community is pretty tight-knit. Building a strong relationship with a mentor can pay huge dividends in the long run, as your mentors can play a key role in your network, connecting you to others and possibly even providing you opportunities directly. Who knows, down the road, you may be able to return the favor!

For the mentor, the investment of time and energy is often exciting, and for many of us, helping awesome people like you take their next step is a way that we give back to the community and acknowledge those who’ve helped us with our careers.